Social Networks v. Personals

This has been a time coming. I guess since I went out on a couple of dates with someone that I met through Linked In. I discovered that it was a better way of connecting. Though there was never a relationship but it taught me a few things about connecting with people.

Through social networks you can find common ground, discover their interests, and communicate with them FREE. The thing with some of the better dating sites is that you are charged a fee to talk. If you meet someone that you think is a business contact, you add them to build your network, with Linked IN. Then if it transfers over to something like facebook, to be more casual, it could then transfer over to something “James Bond” like but you at least have stable ground and two way conversation.

These forms of communication are an oxy moron because what makes them so great in the beginning is a double edged sword most of the time. With so many networks out there and being available communication signals are often crossed. See my take on this subject.

The advantage to the social network way of meeting is that you already have a sense of who their friends are, able to communicate, what their interests are, and almost everything about them. There isn’t a flashy ad that is trying to sell you something. If they are genuine then you can tells straight from the bat.

I am exhausted with the personals and I do not really believe that it is the way of going. Just like a job search, if you come off as desperate then you will attract the wrong people, and no one wants to do that. So send a tweet, interact, and be engaging… maybe that is the way to meet the right people.

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The First Stage of Dating Dilema!

Since my last post about Social Media and Dating went over so well I am going to write something else about the subject matter. In this day and age when communication or avoidance of communication is at its abundance it is hard to tell when to say what you want to say. The beginning of relationships and the entire courtship thing is hard. It isn’t the easiest thing in the world.

You often wonder, what do you say, when do you say what you want to say, and when are you going to get out of limbo? I know these questions are never easy and usually their is horrible timing on everyone’s part.

So why do we bother with it at all? Why does when something that seems so great turn out so bad? I have been wondering about this for the past night. How could someone go from cooking you dinner and wanting to spend a lot of time (on dates, they averaged 5.5 – 6.5 hours) with you to NOT wanting to go out with you at all.?

It just seems odd this dance that we do. Social Media allows for us to know what our ex daters are doing all the time. With constant status messages on Facebook or Twitter you can figure it out even if you aren’t talking. Is that a good thing or bad?

What do you do when you are subject to all this communication. Plus, if someone is genuinely interested is the telephone used as a TELEPHONE and not as a texting device?

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So you thought dating and communication were easy?

Check out this video: Hes Just Not That Into You trailer

He’s just Not That into You… is a story of a group of women that are struggling with dating and long term relationships. One of them doesn’t want to end up being single for the rest of her life, the other one is in a long term relationship that is NOT ending up in marriage, and there are a list of struggles that each of these women go through. I have not seen this movie yet but this post isn’t about what is going on in the movie or the plot per say. It is mostly about what Drew Barrymore’s character says at the end of this preview.

I guess the point is that Social Media has taken over everything and it isn’t just about Twitter. I met the guy that I went out with 2x through Linked In initially as a business contact because he was in Public Relations and I wanted to start in public relations. That then transferred to Twitter somehow, and then I found him on Facebook and he added me there. So what turned out to be a business contact wound up being something more by email on Facebook and then real email.

So basically you need to check your Twitter, then Facebook, I found him on Myspace but haven’t added him yet. It is crazy. I have only really talked to him on the phone once. It is a mix of Twitter, email to plan a date, and then text messages in between.

My question is what happened to a phone call? I have only had one? I know it is the sign of the times and I probably should ask him but at the same time.. look at all these mediums there is to avoid communication and talk about confusing because what if you miss one? Is that going to mean its over?

Drew Barrymore’s character has a valid point. There are so many portals of communication that you may get rejected by at least seven by the end of the night. That is my point.

You need all these forms to brand yourself. To make yourself someone that gets the position with the company of your dreams. When you are trying to date it gets confusing and time consuming. So rethink about the OLD fashioned phone call… You can probably learn more about someone that way.

He Myspaced her, then after a few days or what not. He called her from work, she called him at work, he emailed her blackberry, she text his cell, and you have to check all these different portals to get rejected by seven different technologies. I love this saying because if it was not so honest than it would not be true.

EDIT:
Turns out that it ended after 2 dates and over a text message. We were in the same room and he couldn’t come up to me to say what was needed to be said.

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